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25 July 2008

Woodcutter and his axe: New Twist

Once upon a time, there was a woodcutter.
He was poor, but he was honest. And hardworking. Every day he used to go to the woods to cut the wood. He used to sell the wood in the market and make his living. He had a good wife, lovely children and the raconteur would like to believe that he and his family lived happily ever after....
It is not that easy. The poor and honest woodcutters who used to live once upon a time do not normally live happily ever after. Soon something has to happen to them. The fate always want to intervene to test their honesty.
One day, while cutting wood, his axe fell in the river.
Of course it fell into the river because it was loose. The woodcutter hadn't bothered to maintain his tools before venturing on day's work. Absolute incompetence....
But that is real life, in the story he is a poor and honest and hardworking woodcutter...
Not knowing what to do, he prayed to the river goddess.
In those days, if you pray to river goddess, she will somehow pop out of the river. So, as expected, out popped a river goddess.
"What happened my dear child?" asked the goddess gently. In all probability the river goddess was much younger to him, but she is a goddess and he is a human. So she will call him child. Who can question the wisdom of the gods ?(and goddesses, in this case).
"My axe fell in the river. Can you get it out for me?" pleaded the woodcutter.
Immediately she went under water and came out with a golden axe.
"Is it your axe?" She asked him. Being honest, he replied no.
The scene was repeated with goddess coming out with a silver axe and again he told her it was not his axe.
Third time she came out with his axe which the woodcutter recognized.
The river goddess was very pleased with the woodcutter's honesty and presented him with all the three axes.
It would have been good to tell that the woodcutter went back home, sold the golden and silver axes and with the money lived happily ever after.
But that is not how it happens in real life. Especially if you are a married man. Even if you are happily married, as in the case of our woodcutter.
The wife invariably tend to have other ideas.
In this case, she wanted to see the exact location where the axe fell. So the woodcutter took her to the woods to see the exact spot where his axe had fallen.
She bent down by the side of the river to touch the water and toppled over due to top heaviness...
Wood cutter again prayed to the river goddess to restore his wife.
The river goddess went underneath and came out with Aishwariya Rai.
"Is this your wife?" The goddess asked. Of course, it was a rhetorical question. Of course, she knew that the woodcutter will say no. After all, isn't he a honest woodcutter?
In a man's life, the honesty that he applies to his axes do not work the same in the case of beautiful ladies. The rules are different.
"Yes", the woodcutter replied.
The river goddess was angry. "I thought you were a honest man. How can I trust these men?" she spoke bitterly.
"Goddess, please listen to me", prayed the woodcutter, "I have my reasons for saying that this is my wife." (of course, you have your reasons, my dear man. After all, if it is Aishwarya Rai, every man has his reasons)
"It better be good" warned the bitter goddess.
"You see, if I say no, you will go down and come up with Mallika Sherawat. Again when I say no, you will come up with my wife. Now I will say yes and pleased with my honesty, you will give me all the three women. I am struggling to put up with one, how will I manage three?"
The goddess was pleased with the reason, and gave him Aishwarya Rai for keeps..
End of story. Not yet. Every story has to have a moral or a question. In this case, a question.
The question is, what is the name of the wood cutter?
It is Abhishek Bacchan, my dear good man. (Isn't Aishwarya Rai a big clue?)