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13 November 2012

Ice cream sandwich and more.....

You can't judge me for what happened !!

I mean, look at the situation. Look at the context. Look at the circumstances....

I mean....

I was driving with my son in the car to somewhere in Jayanagar. I forget where I was going. I remember that I was driving. And my son was in the seat next to me.

These are times when I get my son as a captive audience. I am always on the lookout for giving "parental advices and guidance' to him when he is in the car. Most of the time the opportunity presents itself when my son asks me a question or make an observation.

I have this rare ability of identifying potential advices even out of on Non-Sequitars. Simple innocent observations... and I latch on to them and expound on them. Like some bubblegum or something.

My son has learned his lessons. He has learned to keep his trap shut when we are together in the car. But that doesn't stop me. An ad here, a road sign there, a tree somewhere....all these are 'advice catalysts' and advices pour forth out of me, non-stop, like Niagara falls...

It so happened that we were driving in front of 'Baskin Robbins'. You know, the Calorie and Cholestrol vendor...(I am joking. They have delicious, low cal ice creams) 

"I want to get 'Ice Cream Sandwich'" announced my taciturn son generally to the universe.

My parental antennae were up. This was the kind of observation that called for a detailed parental advising effort.

"Son, I want to tell you three things", commenced I.

Son made a face. Father ignored it and continued.

"One, someone has said that 'you should be careful what you wish for because you will get it'.  So think before you wish for anything. You know that I will buy you Ice Cream Sandwich if you want one. I don't want  to say no to you when you ask me for something to eat. But remember that Ice cream contains lot of calories and fat and is the number one cause of childhood obesity in the United States. While I will buy you Ice Cream Sandwich, you have to ensure that you do a lot of physical exercise. Only physical exercise will help you build your stamina..."

I was about to go on a narrative spree about the benefits of building physical stamina and endurance, but kept it aside for a later day.

"Two, you know that you are susceptible to cough and cold especially if you eat ice creams in winter season.  And now is winter season and you are old enough to understand the physical hazards of eating ice cream in this season. You have to be responsible to yourself and never let your cravings of junk food overcome your judgement (boy, am I good at making advices out of nothing?). If you want, I will buy you ice cream, but I wish that you will yourself say that you don't want it now"

I was on a roll....

"And three, let us analyse what is an ice cream made of. It is essentially some cream mixed with lots of sugar and some vanilla. Would you have eaten them, if given separately (well, may be sugar)? So why do you crave for a silly combination of things which you would not have eaten separately? Come on son, you are bigger than an Ice Cream Sandwich from Baskin Robbins....."

I stopped. Victorious, if you see what I mean.

To his credit, my son was absolutely silent during this monologue of mine. Expressionless, you know. Like a Tibetan monk or something....

Finally, he spoke.

"Appa", sez he, " ' Ice Cream Sandwich' is the name of the latest version of Android OS. I was talking about upgrading my Samsung mobile to the latest 'Ice cream Sandwich' OS Version".

The sound you just heard? The crumbling of my Parental Authority...