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20 December 2017

Arranged Marriage....

Please note: I don't know if the incident described below did actually happen. While the story below is described from memory (it is almost 25 years since I heard this story) and in a humorous vein (since it ended well, supposedly), forced marriages at gun point (know as 'Pakadua Vivah') is a major social evil and can destroy people as the news item below shows.

Check here for the news item 'Bihar man forced to marry at gun point'

You all know that we have arranged marriage in India, right?

In arranged marriage, the families (Parents) of the boy and girl meet, match the Kundli's (horoscopes) of the boy and girl,  and decide to seal their alliance by getting their children married to each other. 

This could take different forms, like more modern in some part of the country where boy and girl has some voice in the decision to other parts where the boy and girl only meets at the marriage venue.

However, in some parts of Bihar, even families do not meet. In these places, the groom is kidnapped at gun point, gets married to a girl in the kidnapper's family and after that the family of groom is informed. The kidnapper will ensure that the social status of boy's family is equal to, if not better than that of his family.

Surprisingly, after the marriage, the families accept the situation and they live together harmoniously.
Crazy, I know, but that is India

The story I am about to narrate is the story of one such marriage, but with a twist.

This story was told by Kaushal, the same guy who told me the story of Student Discount.

Kaushal was my colleague in Durgapur Steel Plant. He is a very good story teller. Often, when we were relaxing by the pool in Durgapur Club, Kaushal will come up with his stories, most of them from his childhood in Bihar.

"Aneesh Pandey was my batch mate when we were doing Engineering in BIT Mesra", Kaushal reminisced

"Aneesh was in Chemical Branch and I was in Mechanical Branch. Tall, fair and handsome, Aneesh was very smart and popular in the college. In addition, he was the son of a rich and powerful landlord in North Bihar. It was obvious that this tall and smart boy is a prize catch for any girl in the area.", Kaushal continued

"One fine evening, when we were in the final year of Engineering, Aneesh was kidnapped by the men of a local landlord, who had a daughter to be married off. It was towards the evening and before anyone knew what was happening, he was caught, pushed into a van and the van had taken off. Right from in front of our college hostel", Kaushal paused to sip the beer.

"In the case of kidnapped marriages, everything moves very fast. Aneesh's marriage to the kidnapper's daughter was fixed for late evening of that day. In Bihar, marriages are solemnized in the night. Aneesh was taken to the kidnapper's home, had a bath and was asked to wear new dresses and was seated at the marriage hall"

"Aneesh was a smart guy", continued Kaushal, "he realized that he could not do anything. He knew that this kind of marriage was common in Bihar. So he went through the motions without any objections, but always keeping an observant eye".

"The entire family of the bride to be was there. There was the father of the bride, the original kidnapper, his younger brother, another stern looking man, their mother, a regal looking old lady, their wives, and the daughter of the brother. In addition, the sidekicks of the family, who kidnapped Aneesh, were also there. The men were holding on to their guns, ready for any untoward incidents that Aneesh could provoke", Kaushal took another sip of beer.

"The marriages in Bihar are solemnized when the groom applies 'Sindhoor' (Vermilion, also known as the Red Dot) on the forehead of the girl. This is called 'Maang mein Sindhoor Lagana' (apply Sindhoor on the Forehead) and is a big deal in India. Only husband's have the right to apply the Sindhoor on his wife's forehead.", Kaushal explained, of course I knew this before, buy hey, this is Kaushal's story, remember?

"Marriage ceremony started, pujas (Prayers) were all completed and the auspicious time came for Aneesh to apply Sindhoor on the girl's forehead. Aneesh was handed the Sindhoor. This was the crunch time, the climax. All eyes were on him", Kaushal paused

I could anticipate that something awesome was about to happen. I could barely contain my excitement.

"During the ceremony was in progress, Aneesh's observant eye had found that the daughter of the younger brother of the kidnapper was very beautiful and was also of marriageable age. Their eyes had made brief contact and Aneesh knew that she was also very interested in him", Kaushal took another sip of beer. 

I was getting frustrated with his beer sipping at crucial moments in the story, but beggars cannot be choosers, can they?

"So when it was time to apply Sindhoor, instead of applying it on the forehead of the kidnapper's daughter, he applied the Sindhoor on the forehead of her cousin, the daughter of the brother. It all happened so fast that no one had time to react", Kaushal continued.

"Then what happened?", I was curious as dickens

"The kidnapper was livid. He felt like a lioness that did all the work in killing the pray and watching the male lion taking the spoils. His sidekicks were livid. Everyone was angry except...."

"Except for the kidnapper's brother. By applying Sindhoor on his daughter's forehead, Aneesh had now become his son in law. It had become his responsibility to protect his son in law. Aneesh watched in amusement as the two brothers and their respective sidekicks almost came to blows with each other and were pointing their guns at each other. The kidnapper's sidekicks were even pointing guns at Aneesh. It was chaos everywhere", Kaushal smiled at the thought.

"Finally the grand mother of the girl intervened and said that since Sindhoor was applied, the daughter of the brother had officially become Aneesh's wife. This was god's wish and the family cannot have the curse of making the daughter a widow by on the day of her marriage."

"The pujas continued after all this commotion and the marriage was solemnized. Next day, Aneesh's family was informed. They also came and took part in the festivities and all of them went back to live their lives as if nothing has happened".

"It is now almost 12 years since the marriage and Aneesh and his wife are the proud parents of two smart children"

"All is well that ends well", Kaushal concluded.

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